Sitting in silence this morning 

Good morning! I’m sitting here trying to wake up this morning, listening to the unfamiliar sound of rain. Sounds peaceful and I’d rather go back to sleep. I am glad we are getting rain, we need it bad. I’m about to hit the shower. I hope I don’t sound like a broken record lol. But dang I see so many people posting about having broken hearts & wanting that somebody to be their one. I do too but for me at the same time, I’m scared. Scared of being hurt again. At least being single nobody can truly hurt me, maybe piss me off but I don’t have to go through the bullshit of it all. Yes I do want someone, but the only way I will have a real relationship is if I’m the only one they want. I’ve been hurt enough. Do you ever wonder why you are not good enough for somebody? Why you ain’t good enough to be the only one they want? Why your not the only one they talk too?….. I do, have for a long time with several different people. I really do have a lot to offer someone in a relationship, not bragging, I just do. I don’t know. Maybe being alone is helping me sort things out and being able to see people for who or what they really are. Life is short and I really hope I don’t have to spend it wondering why can’t I be loved and just be loved. 

On a different note. I’m thankful for those that have helped me out financially and just being a friend to me. I don’t know how I would get through some of these weeks without them. I’m very grateful! 

Being single, I do have plans like traveling and stuff. But if I met someone or current things changed, I don’t know what my life would be like. Would I have to change my wants again? Like I did for years for others? Don’t seem fair. Ok, rambling again, can’t help it. All I do is think lol. 

Well I gotta get ready for the work thing today.. Blah. And I did get a small short pamplet like type of book for women published on Amazon the other day, kinda happy about it.:) Can’t wait to publish more. Loves y’all! 

                              Lori

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Bucket List::UPDATED

This is just some of the things I want or want to do. Just off the top of my head. I hope y’all are having a good day! I slept all day today up til around 5 pm LOL. Much needed rest though. Well here’s a list of 40 from my bucket list, will add to this blog post later with more. Some of these have been done, but I’m still putting it on here.

  1. Sex in my truck-Done
  2. Sex on tailgate-Done
  3. Blind folded during sex-Done
  4. Handcuffed during sex-Done
  5. Sleep all day-Done
  6. To have sex in the rain(in summer)
  7. To have the nerve to tell certain people how I feel about them.Can’t get the nerve.
  8. To fall in love & be loved back
  9. Threesome with 2 other women(if love is found,will mark this out if not done yet)
  10. Travel-Travel-Travel
  11. To travel with a man who loves being around me
  12. To get a full body massage,every inch of my body
  13. Boob job(REALLY want one)
  14. To be fingered at the movies
  15. To be fingered while I’m driving
  16. Netflix & chill with a man(just watching movies)& hanging out with me All day(not all day but a few hours)*
  17. Supper cooked or brought in,bathed & sexed,& I don’t gotta do nothing
  18. Make my own hot ass calendar
  19. Learn how to swim
  20. Have sex in a waterfall
  21. Get some tattoo’s
  22. Publish some books(done)*
  23. Become a popular writer
  24. Own my own home & be able to buy someone else a home that can’t afford it
  25. Own a horse & learn to ride
  26. Be able to buy a ton of food to give to a food bank on a regular basis
  27. Own a dentist office for those that can’t afford stupid prices of today
  28. Be debt free
  29. Invent something cool
  30. To become a huge youtuber
  31. Create my Purple Room(similar to the red room but way better with purple)
  32. To be completely pampered by a man all day long
  33. To pamper a man all day long
  34. To get a mani & pedi(never got too)
  35. To be able to help a family in need in every area(like maybe do this once a month,different family a month)
  36. To be successful
  37. Go on an actual date with a woman just to see what its like
  38. Start the fun family business I’ve been dreaming up for years
  39. To buy my younger son & fiance a home 
  40. For my older son to be healed from avm’s                                                                                        

    UPDATE: 

    I was looking at this list to see if I could mark anything off yet & I only got two marked off. #16 wasn’t a full day but it was very nice for those couple of hours tho. And the other was publishing a book, it was just a small one but it was at least something. 

    I have on here to have sex in the rain but I think *’kissing in the rain’*would be really hot. So I’m adding that one. Also adding….*having sex on the hood of my truck*. 

    I know some of these are far fetched but some are not. It wouldn’t take much effort for some of them though. I really want some so bad. 

    The ones I want now or need are #’s 12, 17, 32. And wouldn’t mind more of #16. 😊

    I don’t really have any more new ones to add right now. But when I do I’ll update this again. 

    Love, Lori 💜

    Getting back at it!

    Good morning! I’ve been awake since 3am, I have no idea why lol. I was doing some research on blogging & stuff & I came across this article about aloe vera gel. I’m highly interested! Now from what I read it is supposed to be great for skin tightening. Mainly the face & neck area & also the ‘Vagina’!!! I read the whole article haha. You use pure aloe vera gel from the plant. Take a small amount & spread it on your face & neck & leave on for about 20-30 minutes, then rinse off with warm water. For your Vagina, mix one cup of water with one tablespoon of the aloe vera gel. Mix it well, then you spread it on your vagina & you put it all up in that bitch too! Leave for same amount of time then rinse(some may need to leave longer…just kidding!). Hahaha. No my pussy ain’t bad but I am getting older & there ain’t no sense in it looking older LOL! I’m going out today & try to find me a cheap plant somewhere. I’m gonna give it a shot & see if it works. The real test is if My Guy notices lol! Had to share with you ladies.

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    And also, I use virgin coconut oil every time I get out of shower. It makes your skin so soft. You just use it moderately like a lotion, & put it all over your body  & face even your vagina & butt area. I haven’t tried Avocado oil, but if I can find some pretty cheap today I’m gonna get it. It supposed to tighten your face & neck skin as well & lighten up age/sun/dark spots too.

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    I’m going to take pictures & see if any of this works. I can’t show you pussy pics but maybe other ones lol.

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    I’ve decided to try & start exercising again. Drinking water like I’m supposed too & all that blah blah. I have to do something or I’m gonna go stir crazy. Also I need to get new glasses, all this reading & writing is killing my eyes. I haven’t been in awhile so I know I need a new prescription. Anybody know who’s good or mainly affordable in the north ga area?

    I have to say yesterday was hard for me. I cried a lot but I made it through it. A reeeally good friend put an end to my crying & put a smile on my face for which I’m grateful for! And my girlfriend checking up on me means a lot to me too. I’m thankful for you both & very glad you two are a part of my life! They know who they. 🙂

    That’s all I got for now, talk to you guys later!

    lorisilveramethyst

    Happy Thanksgiving!

    Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!! I hope everybody has a wonderful day! I know every year we all post & talk about what we’re thankful for. I am thankful for my two sons & all my friends, and my secret friend!

    This year is very different for me. Every year I was the one that did all the hosting, decorating, hours & hours of cooking. I put it all together & loved it. But since I’m now divorced, I don’t have a big family anymore so It’s just me. All that skill going to waste this year lol. I am cooking a small turkey & sides for myself because I love eating turkey & mayo sandwiches for a few days, love love love it!

    Ok, it is sad for me today & I’ve almost cried twice this morning because I’m alone & it sucks. But I’ll make it, I always do. I’ve been to hell & back, this is ain’t nothing. Biggest thing is my boys ain’t here with me today. But I know they’re having fun & are happy, that’s all that matters.

    But I hope y’all eat til ya explode! I know just me eating this turkey by myself, I’m bound to gain a few pounds myself haha. This is short, I only wanted to wish all y’all a Happy Thanksgiving!!! And be thankful for everyone you have in your life! Love you guys!

    lorisilveramethyst

    About Me

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    Hey everybody! Thought I would do an about me article. My likes & dislikes. What I do for fun. Maybe some secrets lol, I’m not sure about that but we’ll see. As most of you already know, one of my biggest loves is any damn thing to do with sex! Oh yes!!! That’s what I might tell a secret about, a dirty secret haha…maybe. I am getting friend requests & likes & views & everything from some really sweet people. I want to thank all of you for your kind words & messages you all send me. It really helps me to hear that someone is paying attention. And I’m so glad that my writings make some of y’all’s day a little brighter. After reading some of your messages about that I just wanna write like crazy now. If this is a way to make people smile a little bit,then it’s worth it! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

    Some things about me I may end up repeating because I’m sure they’re in other posts. First of all, I wanna say that to those of you having some of the same problems as me, I hear ya. I feel ya. It sucks. Being alone & having that feeling that you are not good enough for anybody. I honestly cannot tell you how to fix it. I struggle with it 24/7. Talking to you guys helps some. Having good friends helps too. My biggest problem is finding someone that would truly love me for me. I can’t just pick somebody, it don’t work that way. And searching for him does not work either. I want to really know what Love feels like. I want to know what it’s like to be able to trust fully. I want to know what it feels like to NOT be cheated on or lied to about other women, to not have to even think about it. To be the only woman his eyes are on. To not have to wonder whats on his phone or who he secretly talks to dirty or not. To just know…I don’t know if anybody has a relationship like that but I want it so bad I can taste it. I would give up being bi-sexual for a man that truly wants me & me only. I done it before & was perfectly fine with it. But I done it for nothing. I have been hurt so badly that I look at men (nothing personal) like all of them are the same. After getting to know a few, I sense the same games. I’m not perfect by no means but I am not a cheater at all. I would give my all to someone that gave their all to me. I do things now I’m not proud of. I know I’ll regret it later maybe,maybe not. We all try to fill our voids some how. What does it feel like to have someone take care of you even if your just sick? Like doctoring you, getting what you need even if its 3 am? Rubbing your back without asking? Cooking or providing you with supper at home? Gives gifts that mean something to you,special? Just holds you & looks at you like he’s proud your his? This is my loneliness problem. I just don’t think anyone wants me like that. And it hurts everyday. I tell you these things to try to help all of us, not just me.

    Enough of the sad stuff.

    I’m adding pictures of myself & my dogs so you can see what we look like lol.

    I love taking pictures & I love selfies haha, and of course snap chat!! I don’t think I’m some hot ass chick. I am just beginning to love myself & seeing my pictures helps me somehow. And I honestly don’t see what other people are seeing. They tell me or comment that I’m f’kn gorgeous. I don’t know why. I don’t have a big ass, I don’t have big boobs, my stomach is not flat, and I’m out of shape. I just don’t get it lol. But whatever, probably most just wanting a piece of ass & they say anything to get it. Speaking of boobs, I want a boob job so bad. Not for others to look at, just for my personal need. But I can’t afford it tho. Maybe someday.

     

    So here is a list of common things some people want to know: Favorite color-Purple. Favorite pickup truck-Dodge. Favorite car-Camaro. Eyes-Hazel. Hair-not sure lol. Height-5’7. Weight-Not much. Favorite clothing-Jeans,T-shirts,& sneakers. I’m not a city kinda girl, I’ll get dirty like the boys do. I don’t like the richy snobby type people. I like mudding, atv’s, trucks. I also love cooking & baking. I’m not a chef but pretend to be haha. I as you know like to write & read. I can draw fairly good. My favorite holiday is Christmas. I am a big movie watching person. I love dogs & cats like crazy. I have 3 dogs right now, two are boxer mix, & my puppy is a pit bull, and I have one outside cat. You can see them in the pictures below.

    I don’t have a ton of friends. I pretty much keep to myself. I stay home when I’m not working mostly because I can’t afford gas in my truck lol. I find movies to watch or write something or clean something trying to keep myself occupied. It’s just me & my animals here at home. And our home is very old with no central heat & air which sucks. But it is the only place I could find & afford that would allow me to have my animals, so I took it. Its not too bad though. It does have some issues that are driving me insane. Like the kitchen cabinets need work. The tub needs replaced because it has huge ass cracks in it. But oh well, at least I’m not living in my truck anymore.

    I love my truck! And that camaro is one like my mother had when I was younger & there is a lot of memories with that car & I have to own one someday.

    I do have two sons whom I will not post pictures because I didn’t ask if its ok with them. But my youngest is 18 & my oldest is 21. They are my world! I would do anything for them. I love them so much. They are good kids, really. My youngest works with me at the same company. And he works hard. I love being able to see him at work, it’s kinda cool. My oldest is a gamer. He plays hard. He has started a youtube channel for the game stuff. I’m lost when he talks about it though haha. I miss them being young & needing me. They are starting their own lives & mom is just not needed much anymore. Another addition to being lonely. But at least I do see them & talk to them regularly.

    I think this post is turning out longer than I wanted it to. Sorry. Just trying to let you know me a little more personally. I was born & raised in Harlan,Ky. We moved here to Georgia when I was 18. I’m now 40, almost 41 next month. I used to be a pot head because there was nothing else to do back home;]. I can’t think of anything else to say. I said I might share a dirty secret about me. I guess I will. Its sexual of course heehee. Actually its two things. One is I love clit nuts, as any woman would. I may like them to much hahaha! The other is…soap. Soap in the shower. When I have time, I love to put a huge glob of soap on pussy to play & on tits as well. I don’t know how many women like that but I do! I have to be creative & pleasure myself to release stress that’s on me or it will probably kill me.

    That’s all I have to say for now. I can’t think of anything else other than don’t let the loneliness overtake you. I know its hard believe me, I know. I will see you guys later!

    Lori

     

     

    Peaches

    lips

    Ok, this one for some reason is a little harder to publicize. Probably because most people that know me don’t know anything about this part of my life. Friends from school didn’t know, family never knew, nobody. And none of my friends back then knew her either. The ones I have mentioned it to, I said I had a girlfriend spend the night, but she wasn’t from my school, she was home schooled & lived nearby. I kept her hidden, I still will never reveal who she was to anyone. I was 16 almost 17 when this night occurred. I was very sexually active, no I wasn’t a whore haha, but I guess some would argue lol. Anyway, I was boy crazy like hell. Always flirting & back then we actually talked on the phone, damn I’m old haha. But I wanted to be where the guys was all the time, what teenage girl wouldn’t? I had already noticed that I had some sort of an attraction to females, but I tried to ignore it because it was strongly advised by my mother that stuff like that was wrong & disgusting. I had to disagree though. I seen tits & pussy in the bathrooms & the locker room all the time & I could not stop staring. I literally was damn near drooling. I would watch my momma’s forbidden dirty movies, the animated sex stuff, all the Porky’s movies, & Playboy magazines,(I think I mentioned that in another story). Not only was I looking at the guys but I was staring hard at the girls too. I thought to myself how can I like both? This may not be very long but hopefully I can express it enough for you to imagine how hot it was for me. Here goes lol……

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    I met her one day because I used to ride my bike to my other friends houses down the road. She was in her yard & she waved & said hey to me. I stopped & asked her where she went to school & she said she was home schooled, I didn’t at the time know what the hell that meant but I went with. She offered me something to drink & I never made it to my friends house that day. We didn’t do anything for a little while. I hung out at her house a lot because we got along great. She was pretty & every chance I had I was staring lol. Finally one day I took her home with me & she spent the night with me. We acted like normal teenage girls dancing & singing, acting a fool. We tried on all my clothes, playing with make up. And by the way every time she changed outfits I about lost it lol. We talked & laughed & eventually got bored, started throwing things at each other & ended up arm wrestling & then a full on wrestling match in my floor! Nobody was really winning but we were having a blast! But as we got tired we kinda rested on each other here & there.

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    And me already being curious as hell, I couldn’t stop myself. I just politely grabbed her boob & started rubbing & playing with it & she didn’t move but she didn’t stop me either heehee. I was excited because I finally got to touch damn it, so I kept pushing my luck. I had no idea what the hell I was doing, I just did what guys did to me,to her. I kept playing with her boobs & slowly put my hand under her shirt & she just laid there lifeless, but I had boobs in hand & wasn’t giving up haha. I rubbed her chest & stomach for a little while & finally I asked if she was ok, she said yea I’m cool, just relaxed. I thought Hell Yeah!! She was on her back & I leaned in to kiss her & she kissed me back ;). We kissed for a good bit & I was still rubbing & I was kinda pushing my body up against hers kinda rubbing my pussy up on her leg. She put her hand on my arm but wasn’t ‘touching’ me yet. I pulled her shirt up & I started kissing & sucking on her tits & she was like rubbing my head & back. I went back & forth kissing her to sucking on her tits & I pulled her pants off, then underwear. She was shaking, she was nervous as hell but did not want me to stop, I asked & she said no real quite. I wasn’t really nervous because I wanted it. It was different I do admit, kinda strange like but I was loving it. She had her legs closed & I went as slow as possible because I didn’t want her to tell me to stop. I didn’t force her to spread her legs. I kinda straddled her legs & I bent down & kissed her pussy several times. I started licking & pushed my tongue in between her pussy lips & she made a little bit of noise & I kept licking & she slowly opened her legs. I licked & sucked & slipped my tongue in & out of her pussy over & over. She started rubbing my head & pushed my face into her pussy hard & moved a little bit. It was hot as hell! The more she pulled me to her & moved, the harder I sucked on her clit. I started fingering her while I was sucking on her clit & she started breathing heavy & moaning quietly. I was super fucking wet at this point. Then all of sudden she started cumming & omg at how wet she got!

    I raised up to look at her & she sat up & kissed me like mad kissed me lol. And she took my shirt off & was touching & rubbing & sucking on me & kissing on my neck. She was on her knees & pulled me to my knees & she was rubbing my ass & kissing the hell outta me. Then she started pulling at my pants & we pulled them off together. When I laid down she kissed me then whispered in my ear, I don’t know what I’m doing but I hope I make you feel as good as you did me. She slowly kissed her way down to my pussy & oh damn that was the most awesome feeling ever by a girl to be licking on my pussy. She mimicked everything I did & it felt amazing. She looked at me once & sucked my pussy juice off her fingers & went right back down sucking like hell on my clit. No guy had done it like that before. I grabbed her head & started rubbing my pussy fast & hard on her face until I cummed all over her & she just kept going.

    We finally stopped but we laid on the floor & we were cuddled up to each other. She said to me I’ve never done nothing like this before & I told her I hadn’t either but wanted to. We talked about how good it felt & what we liked that each other did. We got in bed & stayed naked & talked about all kinds of stuff. It was probably an hour or so since we had sex. I rolled over towards her & started rubbing on her pussy which tasted so good. I was just slowly sliding a finger in & out of her pussy, & we kept talking about just whatever haha. She was getting wet again & so was I. I leaned up some so I could finger her harder & she stopped talking lol. She leaned toward the table to get her drink & I grabbed her hips & pulled her towards me til she was on her knees on the bed. I got under her & pulled her pussy down to me & she started grinding that pussy on my face. You just had to be there,that was so damn hot! For two girls that had never been with another girl before, we did a damn good job at fucking each other for the first time I think! But being under her like that was such a turn on. I flipped her over & made my way to her face, she grabbed my ass & I started grinding her face. We eventually went to sleep lol.

    We got up that morning or should I say noon haha. We threw on some clothes & went & ate breakfast. We would lock eyes & giggle about what we did the night before. Her mom called my mom & wanted her to come home soon. So me & her went to take a shower…together. We were attracted like hell to each other. We got in the shower, I had no intentions on doing anything but her standing there soaking wet was killing me. She was facing away from me & I squeezed her ass cheek & she wiggled her butt at me…OMG lol. I whispered bend over & she immediately did. I just stood there looking at that sight. I got on my knees & started licking her pussy from behind, I could really get my tongue in like that…Nice. She turned around & kissed me so softly then dropped to her knees & licked on my pussy for a bit. We hugged & kissed & finally got out. I walked her to her house & before we got to close we stopped & kissed goodbye.

    A photo by Clarisse Meyer. unsplash.com/photos/UvQtTVdFi9I

    Now we had sex several times after that,but she moved away & we never saw each other again. It sucked,bad. I wanted her again & again. I didn’t mess with another girl until I was 19 & done moved to Georgia from Kentucky. I still think about how good we was together, it was very fun.

    I shared this because I’m opening up & sharing my life because it’s what I wanna do. It don’t bother me if people don’t like it. But I bet more like hearing it than those that don’t. I’ve seen very little writings where the authors actually share their own experiences. I do have & will have more fiction stories but I have shared & will share more of my real life experiences. None of the real stuff is made up, its true & its me, who I am, what I’m about. I’m not embarrassed by the way I live my life. If I was you wouldn’t be reading this. I’m not sure what I’ll write next but there will be something you can count on that!

    Lori

     

    Trying To Understand..Me

    Hey everybody, I hope y’all are having a great day! Mines okay,I’m off work today. I know I haven’t been writing everyday. It’s hard too when I work a full time job & I think I may have a touch of depression or just having trouble coping with my new life. I still cry at night because there is no one at home to hold me at night & that seems to be my hardest time is when I go to bed. It so lonely & quite. No significant other, no kids, just my animals & me. I’ve never been faced with being alone. I guess that’s why it seems so hard. Not only do I deal with the loneliness but It’s all the other stuff as well. Like my job which is horrible but I cant afford to quit & can’t find anything to match the pay. My job literally is killing my body because it is manual labor. I have nerve problems here & there because of it & it sucks & will probably never get better.

    I barley make enough to just make it. I have friends that don’t have money problems & can buy this & that & I find myself envying them but I shut that feeling down because that will only make it worse for me, just sitting around wishing. I don’t want nobody’s money, just their friendship & to love me & give a damn about me. But in reality there is only a few that really do.

    I rented a house with a big yard because I have dogs. But this house does not have central heat & air. I honestly thought it wouldn’t be this bad but it is. I about roasted during the summer & now I’m freezing to death. I have small heaters but they run up the power bill & I don’t trust them being on when I’m asleep or not home. I have a fireplace but no money to buy wood. My good friend gave me a kerosene heater but it will be a few weeks before I can buy a can & kerosene. I won’t tell my friend that due to embarrassment of being broke. It sucks. I’m working really hard at trying to learn how to blog & vlog on youtube to make extra money. It’s really harder than most people think. It takes a lot of guts & studying to do either, especially vlogging, there is so much technical stuff involved. I want it bad tho, so I know I will make someday. It’s just that being in the spot I’m in right now makes it hard for me to look into the future.

    Not having someone around all the time is so lonely. I do have a special friend that comes to see me once in awhile when he can, but even at that there is still a lot of time I’m alone. I can’t & don’t expect him to be here 24/7 because we don’t have a relationship like that. It would be nice tho. If I had to choose someone right now I would choose him, he takes away my stress & I forget problems for a little while. To me he is the opposite of every man I’ve ever known. But in my defense, I constantly look for what in the world is wrong with him that I am not seeing yet lol. Not that there is something but because other mens true colors have shown brightly at me & burnt me. But at the same time I’ve had my heart ripped apart & honestly I don’t think I’m strong enough to be hurt again. I’m not saying he would just saying I don’t want to go though it again. I sometimes wish there was a male friend that could literally ‘spend’ the night once in awhile with no sex expected or anything. Why a male? Because I get along better with them & I need a man for some things around the house that I can’t do. But that’s just wishful thinking I guess. Haha.

    My next posting will be a blog about the first time I was with another female. Yes it’s hot as usual lol. I’ve been running it through my head trying to remember all the details, I don’t want to leave anything out. I’m going to try to get it on here tonight if I can. I do gotta make cupcakes for my buddies at work & wash & iron my hair haha,so hopefully I can get back on here & share that hot ass story with all of you. I wish more people were open about their lives because why hide it? Your only going to take it to your grave. You don’t go down in history being goody goody, but being yourself you do. People love hearing & reading about anything, why not about You.

    Thanks for reading!

    Lori