A very bad year…ending

Hey everybody! Merry Christmas!!!!!! I hope all y’all are having a blast. And not fighting with in laws haha, gotta love that right?! I really do wish y’all the best Christmas though. Don’t gain too much…lol.

I’m glad this year is ending, I really am, I hope and pray next year will be much better for me than this year has. This year has beat the hell outta me. I may be a strong person and I can take a lot of shit but this whole year has damn near kept me knocked down to my knees.

I’m lost. Completely. I’m so used to being the head cook and decorator and getting all the family involved(ex’s family). I am not doing anything this year. Not that I don’t want to I literally have nowhere to go or nothing to do and I’m broke. But oh well, I’ll just wait it out, it’ll be over soon. I’ve never been alone on the holidays Ever in my life, this sucks. I couldn’t even get gifts for my boys or friends. I don’t have no decorations up, I figured it would make it worse on me just sitting here staring at it by myself.

I tell ya I’ve been through more hell than I care to that’s for sure. The divorce, the horrible boyfriend, being Cheated on which is the lowest and worse thing somebody could do to me, losing everything I had and credit. But ya know out of all of it what hurt me the most was being cheated on. I’m not saying I’m a beauty queen but I’m not a dog either. I literally bend over backwards for them and I’m probably the most loyal person you could meet. So why would men fuck that up for themselves for just a quicky with some chick that will never be me? I’m tired, I’m tired of games. If I sense I’m being played I will disappear, I don’t have time for it and my heart can’t handle anymore pain. It’s not fair to be the good person who only finds people that are heartless whores. I guess I’ll never understand it, I can’t help but wonder why though. Why cheat on me? Anyway I’ll shut up now lol.

I’m trying to put together a compilation of my posts into an ebook today. I’m gonna add something extra since I’m selling it and you can read for free here, so I gotta put a twist to it. I can’t wait y’all til I figure out how to work online only. I’m so sick of the everyday hustle with jobs today, they suck right?

Thanks to all the messages I’m getting and replies about my new hair! Let’s keep it clean though haha!. I love it! It’s different and I like being different. Once I figure out how to make some real money then I’m soooo getting that boob job done lol, I can’t hardly wait for that!!

Any who, I’m getting off here with all my ranting :D.  Just wanted to say MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL Y’ALL!!!! Hope you are having a great time with family and friends!!!!!

Love, Lori

 

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