Hey real quick, putting another one on here tonight. Just wanted to say again that I’m putting together an ebook compilation of my posts from here. There will be 2-3 new ones in the book that will never be on here. They are about some serious things that happened to me in my life and some things and feelings that are going on right now with me. When the ebook is published I will share a link to it. It was very difficult for me to write about some things and I feel they are not just some of my goofy blog posts, and I don’t want just anybody reading them, only those of you that are seriously following me and are connected with me on here. I mean these are some very private things about me and I want it took seriously. It’s not just all about sex with me, even though that is a big part of me. I am human and shit happens and I have a story to tell about it. That’s one of the reasons I started writing was to create an outlet. I have held it in for so long and I’m loving being able to share most of it. I still keep a lot to myself simply because I don’t feel its interesting or whatever.
The first one is some extreme serious shit I went through and it was very hard for me to write about it. Hardly anyone knows about it. My momma took it to her grave with her but I have to let it out, I have to. Maybe it could help someone. I hope it does. I stared at the cursor a lot. Just trying to type it down was as hard as to speak it because well its the same, some of y’all and others will hear/read it.
The other is just something I don’t know what to do about right now. It has me baffled and I have only told two people about the situation. I have no idea what to do about it. I have no answers and it scares me that I already know the truth but I don’t want to face it. You know it sucks when your gut tells you shit and you don’t want to listen and hope its wrong for once. Ugh, life sucks, at least for me anyway. This one will take me forever to hit the publish button for the whole book because once read by certain ones, could mean possible changes in my life…again. Could be good, but probably not.
Since I’ve been writing I’ve learned I’m not alone in feeling alone. There are a lot of us. Probably more, just some won’t admit it or just won’t say. I don’t feel like I am capable of helping others when I’m such a wreck myself. I’m all over the place with life shitting on me. I know I may seem like a crazy sex addict who is immature and stuck on herself. I’m really not. I’m actually pretty serious most of the time. And yes I’m sure of myself. I know what I can bring to the table and I know what I’m capable of regardless of the topic. I’m not going to hide what I’m good at to keep from intimidating somebody or pissing somebody off. If ya don’t like it and can’t handle it, well sorry. I’m gonna keep being me and taking care of me.
I don’t know if there will be more than two new ones or not. I’m debating on a third one. It would be about me of course, its mostly just like childhood memories and stuff like that and I don’t know if that would be interesting or not for readers. I can’t decide if I want to or not.
I just wanted to let y’all know about what I’m up to. And again I thank those of you messaging me and being a friend that ain’t trying to hook up, thanks.