Morning!

Wake up & just choose to be happy! I seen a post on fb about choosing to be happy & tried it yesterday…worked for the most part lol. I kinda threw things at my machines at work yesterday haha but for the most part it was all good. 

I’m so glad Obama is leaving office today & Trump is now president! Woohoo! He may not be perfect but at least it ain’t Obama no more or Clinton. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that, don’t be attacking me now lol. I don’t do political arguments, hate it. 

I’ve been reading a lot about depression & I’m not so sure that’s what’s wrong anymore. Everything I’ve read all points to a person going damn crazy. I mean like they’ll never come out of it & always trying to harm themselves or others. That’s not me thank God. I’m just simply lonely. Yea I’m diagnosing myself. Lol. I’ve had to adjust to a lot lately & learning to solely take care of myself. I reckon I’m just experiencing how to deal with new changes. All the symptoms of depression….I do not have. Not even one. So I’m not claiming that’s my problem no more. I’m just goofy ole me šŸ˜šŸ˜.

I was supposed to work the whole weekend at my other job but I probably won’t be due to rain. Not many golfers play in the rain. Oh well, I’m good at being lazy too šŸ˜Š. I do need the money though. If I don’t work tomorrow, me & my oldest are going to attempt another video for our YouTube channel, I’m still upset the first one is gone. Can’t redo it because I can’t take him hiking anymore, he had a seizure because he got to exerted. Poor thang. 

I had to make myself go to sleep last night & leave my music alone. I started listening to songs my mom used to love & it got me all bent outta shape. I miss that woman so bad. It’s just not fair, she died to young. My personal thoughts is if she was in a better hospital she would still be here, just saying but I can’t prove nothing or I’d sue the shit out of them. They treated her like shit right in front of me & kept saying she just isn’t going to make it & pushing for me & my brother to take her off life support. Idk, just sucks. Sucks I don’t have her with me, I need her so bad right now & forever. 

Anyway, don’t want to talk no more about her right now, I’ll just be a mess all day. I’ve been thinking hard about how I can live cheaper. Cheaper rent, smaller place or something. It just seems ridiculous to pay what I pay to live by myself & I don’t want to live with no one. I hate apartments so that is out. I can’t stand really close neighbors either so options are small. Plus I have 3 dogs, will probably end up with another one lol & most landlords hate animals. I can’t buy a place or I would have already believe me. This house I’m in is falling apart & it’s too expensive for what it is. I thought about trying to find someone to sign for me one of them hud homes, cheap down payment, like $100-$300 & low monthly payments. That would be ideal for me but idk how to do it on my own, I’m in chapter 13 & I’ve been told to not acquire anymore debt, that and no one is going to approve me anyway lol. It’s not that I don’t pay my bills, I went through shit that caused my financial problems. Nothing I could do about it. Oh well maybe I can hit the lottery hahašŸ˜‚. 

Well I gotta go, I’ll write more later. Y’all have a good day!! 

Love, Lori šŸ’•

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