Such a long boring day off. I slept a big part of it though😁. I was going to do a video with the puppies tonight…but…I ate all that food and got stuffed and sleepy, so it’ll be tomorrow now. I made stuffed bell peppers and I ate two huge ones lol. But the video is for my regular YouTube channel. I’ll share it to my Facebook when it’s done.
I’ve been damn emotional all day. I don’t know why other than the normal stuff ya know. But I woke up this morning and all day I felt so small, weird. I still feel it, can’t shake it off. It feels like I don’t matter to anyone ugh. It sucks to be me and a female I swear haha. I can’t even beg nobody to come around me, I give up. Fixing to be 9 months I’ve been single. Looking like I’m the one meant for me huh? Lol. Even at the gym today, there was a ton of people and guys on both sides of me on the treadmills….I still felt alone. Like I’m invisible annnnd small, insignificant, a nothing. I guess when you get treated that way so much you start to think it too.
Well I’m heading to bed. I’ve done dozed off a bunch of times trying to write this haha. Goodnight!
I’m still awake at 2am! I said I wasn’t going to do anymore videos but several people wanted me too so I’ve tried again. And yes this one is short and not all sad.
I hope y’all have a wonderful day today! I’m sleeping in this morning but still hitting the gym after I get up. Love y’all and I posted a goofy Snapchat video on my Facebook wall thanking y’all for following me and reading my crazy stuff lol. I can’t help myself I have to be goofy here and there. I know you see a lot of videos coming from different places from me but it’s really me trying to be completely comfortable in front of the camera for our YouTube channel. Blog video 3 link below.
Last day of my 12 hour shift weekend! Can’t wait to get this day over with! I long for the day when my job is to get up and turn on computer and go to work in my pajamas ❤️. It’s coming! 😊
I tell ya I feel just blah. Being in pain for over a week will wear you down. I think it’s gonna rain tomorrow so I won’t be able to work other job which means my ass will be in bed all day catching up lol. Or in my tub haha!
Here in a few weeks hopefully my finances should start slowly improving and I’m gonna give my own self a damn break, a mini vacation. Away from jobs and people, gotta clear my mind. Only two people know what all is going on in my life, my gf & my new friend. They think I need a break too lol. Yes there is a lot I don’t put on here. Every girl has her secrets, can’t let them all out💜. Anyway I wanna go where it’s warm dammit! It’s 70 one day here then 40 the next…crazy! I need to go by myself and do some soul searching as they say lol. May even turn phone off for most of the day and stay off facebook and messenger lol.
I seen this post on fb yesterday….’I want you, you want someone else, and someone else wants me’….pretty much sums it up.
I over done it yesterday with ab exercises, I’m sore as hell! To say the least I’m not going today. Taking a day off from the gym. But yes I still LOVE the gym!!
FYI..it still sucks being single! When you want to be babied, there’s no one there uggggh! Oh well, life goes on I reckon…even if your single lol. Just wish I could get what I need though.
Well I gotta get ready for work, hope everyone has a great day! Love y’all!
I wanna say I wish I wasn’t working today but hey gotta make that money somehow! I’m up early this morning. I had to hit the tub, my back and leg muscles hurt lol. I think today at the gym will be cardio and some ab work. I started out on a little routine I was following but with the toothache and headaches it knocked me off track. I feel somewhat better this morning. But I did yesterday morning too then boom around 3 at work I had a migraine from hell that wouldn’t let up. Hope that don’t happen today 😔.
So I guess I won’t be doing anymore videos for the blog, from what I can tell it didn’t get that many views unless I’m looking at it wrong. No big deal.
It’s funny how you think you’ve changed and think you know what you want and also feelings..they change. All of a sudden my view on a lot of stuff has changed, for the better of course. And you realize people ain’t who you think they are. Their true colors start showing and your like nope don’t want that shit in my life. Oh well, I guess that means I’m getting better a little bit everyday. Shady people ain’t worth having around. And my view on stuff or jobs has changed as well. Looking at it all for myself instead of everything benefiting someone else. I have to look out for me. I have to do for me. No man no woman and no stuff can stand in my way. I won’t allow it again.
I’m sure some people look at me like I’m crazy and shake their head and think she’s just babbling about being successful and all that. She’s broke as hell. She’s single. There’s no way. There’s always gonna be haters. And I know I have them but I don’t care. They’re just doing absolutely nothing with their life and don’t want no one else to either. But I got news for ya, one day soon….I will make it. Not to show the haters but to do it for myself. I won’t be living day to day anymore. trying to figure out how to feed myself and these dogs or find gas money to get work..etc. I will be very busy and I will begin traveling soon. And I will only keep in touch with those that I feel actually give a damn about me, and believe me that number has gotten smaller again. You just know. But anyway, yes I will make it and I don’t want to say watch and see because that sounds cheesy but those following me and keeping up with me will watch me grow and climb, and y’all are awesome! It does feel nice to know that.
There’s always gonna be hurdles to jump and right now I have a big one, actually several. But I’ll make it. I have no doubt. And YALL can do it too!
I’m going to start on a couple of projects, one is making a memo book of writings and pictures of my single journey all the way to success. And the other is a vision board for the things I’d like to achieve and work towards. It ain’t much but dreamers with intentions of making them come true start when they don’t have nothing or don’t have much anyway. I know you’ll roll your eyes but have you ever read about Walt Disney? If not you should. Pretty good read and it’s inspiring. There’s tons more of course.
Well I’ve got to go, gotta get ready for the day. Hope y’all have an awesome one!
Love ya, Lori💋
Hey y’all, I have attempted it again. I think it worked this time. I didn’t upload through here, I put them on my YouTube channel and I’ll put a link below again.
There’s two videos because the camera only records so long so I had to start a second one to finish up with. It is long, I just let it go and kept talking about just whatever. Y’all don’t have to watch but it’s there for those that do. I did fall apart toward the end. I did the videos so everyone could ‘visualize’ me instead of just reading about me. I thought it might help some. If I don’t hear from you guys I won’t do anymore videos lol. I tried to be myself as much as possible 😊.
Ttyl! Love, Lori💜
There’s two, their listed as blog video 1 & 2
Sorry y’all about the videos. I didn’t know til this morning that the one that was supposed to be 30 mins long was only a little over a min. Don’t know what happened but I deleted them. I’ll figure it out today.
Well I slept in this morning. I was woke up at 4am with that tooth hurting again. That sucks ass! And now I’m awake with a headache. Can’t win for loosing I tell ya. I’m gonna put myself together and head to the gym, it’s tanning day too 👍🏼.
I’m gonna have to go through my stuff today and sell some things. Don’t wanna but I’m at a point to where…I’d like to keep the roof over my head. Can’t do nothing with this fricking bankruptcy on my me tho, sucks! It would be a great day to win some lottery money!!!!! Because of rain I’m not getting to work pt job this week either. I tried to pawn my title…that didn’t work. They said we don’t check your credit so they wouldn’t know nothing about the bankruptcy, then they ask and me being me I can’t lie. I said yea then they tell me sorry we can’t. WTH? If you don’t look at credit then how would they even know? Y’all think if I used a different one and ‘lied’ they’d find out???? I’m desperate.
Anyway, I’ll write later. Just wanted to let y’all know the video thing didn’t work again. I’ll work at it later tho. Have a good day everyone!!
Hey just a thought. It happens sometimes, ok once in a blue moon lol. But hey what if? What would you do or get or who would you help?
First off I would do the normal stuff of course.
- Buy a house
- Couple of vehicles
- Pay off debt
But to say the least my two sons and my three really close friends and a couple other of my friends will be took care of. But I would still want to write and vlog and I would be able to afford to do it right and with all the right equipment. And most importantly TRAVEL!! 😁
I don’t know about crazy stuff but I’d would like to help strangers when needed. I know it’s really nice when I get help now. When people go out of their way for me when they don’t have to, it’s awesome. I’ll never forget what they’ve done for me or forget them.
Y’all I’m trying to stay positive here I swear but my teeth are damn killing me. I’m not sure what all I’ve got in my mouth lol. I just keep cramming stuff trying to make the pain stop. And eating Advil like candy, probably not good but I’m in pain. Luckily I’m almost done with my job, I got one more doff left and I’m fixing to go to do it. Takes me about hour normally but pain is slowing me down.
If and I mean ‘If’ I can get the pain to ease off I’m gonna attempt that video post tonight. I don’t have nothing planned to say just gonna wing it. That’s the purpose in it so you can visualize my reactions and everything instead of just reading them. I’ll try not to be boring 😂😂.
Well getting back to work! Ttyl hopefully.
Oh how I so hate a toothache! They’re the worst I swear! It’s been hurting since Friday night and I have to go back to work tomorrow.
I got so much on me right now and pain just makes me even more miserable. Really don’t need this right now. I had all intentions of seeing a dentist and an eye doctor once I got straightened out but damn that toothache snuck right in there. Hopefully it will subside and I won’t have to have it pulled yet.
I haven’t been to the gym in two days nor exercised at home because of the pain. But I’m gonna drug up & numb myself up in the morning so hopefully I can go before work. Haven’t been doing it long but I miss being there.
Y’all guess what….I got to take a bath tonight!!! First time in foreverrrr. I’m loving it and so thankful!! Only positive thing going on lol. Now I can look forward to the gym in the mornings and a hot bath at night yay. And reason being, my old tub was cracked beyond repair.
I did a video last night. I was gonna make it a video post on here but it wouldn’t upload at all. I’ll try again in a day or two on a different device. May even use the webcam to record a video-those are awful videos so it’s a last resort lol. I thought it may help people understand me better if they could see my expressions sometimes instead if only reading them.
I’m sleepy from being awake with stupid tooth. Talk to y’all tomorrow. Have a great nights sleep!
How’s everyone’s day going? Mine was great then went to hell real quick. But hey it is what it is. It’s out of my control. Anywaaaayyy….
Y’all obviously know I’m sex crazed 😜. But sometimes a girl needs a lil something something more. Well this girl does anyway. I’m sitting here watching tv and thought if I had the money I’d pay somebody for a full body massage and lots of pampering, I ain’t kidding dammit. Being single you just don’t get nothing like that much. People don’t realize that single people don’t get that stuff anymore. What they take for granted, we think it’s a big deal! Lol. What kind of pampering-well I have no idea but suprise me😁 is what I say. Haha just dreaming, nothing else to do today.
Trying to keep from losing my mind or stroking out. I think I’m gonna take another shower and get out all my junk and have myself a little spa night and iron my hair. Yes I’m bored…pretty much always am. Can’t massage myself, well maybe I can one part 😂😂😂! But can’t do what someone else can with massaging the whole body, can’t reach! Just wanna feel special damn😜. All girls do.
Hey you know what? I write a lot of personal shit about myself on here, it’s true haha. But there’s so much more to me and about me that no one knows, not even my boys, no one. Said that because I seen a post that said keep your shit personal the world don’t need to know…lol. The world only knows what I allow it to know, get me? Quote from titanic-A woman’s heart is like an ocean full of secrets-its a very true statement! Not that I’m a bad person or nothing. Just that I’m saying I don’t tell y’all everything, why would I do that lol? And it’s not necessarily ‘secrets’, it’s likes, dislikes, past, future, etc. Just ain’t found no one I trust with ALL of me if you understand.
Can’t get massage out of my head lol. Probably cause every muscle I have Hurts! But no really…I really want one 🤗. No sex well not at first haha, maybe a slip of the finger ever now and then wouldn’t hurt during. 🖖🏼🤙🏼 LOL
Ok gotta go tend to my fricking toothache. Hate having a toothache, I’m gonna get these bitches all pulled out one day. Then a guy will REALLY like oral then HAHAHA😜😜!!!! I’m JK!
Love youins! Lori💋
Wow what a day so far. I got to the gym late today but I wanted to sleep in so bad lol. I took my oldest with me today. He seemed to like it but it’s not really his thing, he’s a gamer lol. All I did today was tan and walk on treadmill, I had to give my muscles a break. Back home and bored already.
I can’t believe that ME, yes me allowed myself to be intimidated today!! I don’t let no one do that to me but it happened today dammit. I took one look at another lady and I suddenly felt so stupid like I’ll never look that good. WTH? I pissed my own self off. I don’t allow that because I hate the feeling you get. It sucks, like you ain’t pretty enough, built enough, not good enough, hell are you even a woman!! Damn those feelings! I literally stepped aside with my head down like a dumbass. My only thought was if we were side by side…I would never be given a second glance because of her. Gots to shake that shit off! The only thing I can think of why I allowed that to come over me is I’m already hurting and dealing with other shit I guess. But I still know…I’m me and no one can top that! Favorite phrase–Fuck It!!🖕🏼
When strong is all you can be because you have no choice to be anything else.
I believe it’s a good time for a nap, I’m still exhausted from working and the gym lol. Really hoping I don’t have to work 2nd job this weekend, I just don’t got it in me.
Girls, don’t do what I did today. First time I let that happen in a long time but I did let it. Don’t get intimidated and feel like a nothing. I’m still shaking it off, hopefully after a nap it’ll be gone, maybe I’ll beat the shit out of her in my dream😂😂😂. Jk
My oldest recorded me several times today haha. Idk what or when he’s gonna post them on Facebook but I’m sure he will LOL!
Anywho, nap time!