Crazy Life

Hi y’all! Hope everyone had a great day! It’s my off weekend, well from the full time job anyway. But hey I’m thankful I have two jobs now, very! Instead of writing earlier today I just pondered on a few things. Not necessarily just stuff I deal with but stuff others deal with too. 

I’m not no doctor nor do I claim to be any kind of professional anything. Sometimes people just need to hear from other regular people that everything’s gonna work out and it’s gonna be ok and not be deemed crazy or something. And then put you on several pills that fuck you up more than what you were. 

Toxic people. They are very bad you. Sometimes we don’t realize that they are at first. It could be a friend, a family member, co-worker, or even your spouse or significant other. If people really love and care for you they will not cause your heart harm. They will not purposely make you feel bad, cry and hurt. Sometimes it’s hard to remove them from your life. But if you recognize it and know they’re never gonna stop treating you like they do, then it’s removal time. I know it sucks and seems impossible but for your sake and happiness…ain’t it worth it? Your not alone on this one trust me. I myself have toxic people in my life to and it sucks for me too. Not sure how to remove them really. I don’t like crying all the time or hurting. Not physical pain but emotional pain that’s excruciating!!! It feels almost like it’s physical though. Falling to my knees and crying so hard even screaming to get that pain out but it never leaves. I don’t understand how people can be so damn cruel to other people. I don’t care what sex you are, race, hair color, body size, name, whatever, it don’t matter. None of us deserve to be treated badly. 

Backstabbing, lying, cheating, physical or emotional abuse, etc etc etc. None of them are acceptable for us to receive from another person! No matter what! I’m not perfect I admit, none of us are. Sure I tell white lies when needed but never to hurt someone. I could never hurt someone the way I’ve been hurt. I can’t cheat or lie or steal or whatever to somebody. If I’m done with putting up with someone they’ll notice because I will remove myself from their life. But I will not try to destroy them to do it. I won’t talk to them as much nor want to see or be around them as much no matter who it is. I will slowly disappear without trying to break em down with some idiot blunt move being an asshole. Family members can be very toxic to your life…very. Spouses, girlfriends and boyfriends are too. 

Y’all know I’m not a fan of liars and cheaters. And to me that’s toxic as hell! It can destroy you. I know first hand. I try to not allow myself to get attached anymore but that’s hard when you gotta a big heart and it only wants to see the good but my brain kicks in and says Hey Stupid!!…wake up!!! So I’m learning to basically keep my heart out of stuff it don’t need to be in.  

And also if you’ve never experienced any kind of sadness, depression, or anything with the like. Don’t be quick to judge them and make fun of their insecurities. Keep your cruel thoughts and accusations to yourself. It’s cold hearted. I know I can’t change the world but I hope I can help at least a few see that your not alone and there’s hope there, there really is. 

And those that worry too much and stress too much. I’m with you on this one too. I rarely relax or sleep for that matter. I’m always worried about money and how I’m gonna make it alone. I’m sure y’all do too. No matter what is stressing you, try it at a different approach if it isn’t working the way your currently doing things. Make time to do whatever use to relax you. I’ve took up gym time and really long baths lol, and of course writing. You may not want the world to read your stuff like I do but if you write everything down, read it back to yourself and then burn it….it helps. It helps to get stuff off your chest. Or talk to someone you can trust. Money is a big problem with me. Proving to myself I can make it is a big deal. And I know there is some watching and waiting for me to fail. Sobeit I don’t care, I will not stop trying. I will not fail only stumble sometimes. 

Future. Whatever it is you want to do or want to be, get up and do it! Don’t wait til your too old to do anything about it. Do it now! 

You don’t become great if you don’t mess up and learn from it. That’s how you become stronger and believe in yourself more, never stop! 

Ok y’all I missed the gym this morning. I overslept because I was up for two days straight with no sleep and I worked 12 hours yesterday too, so I passed out hard. And today apparently I’m still not caught up because I took some allergy pills and it didn’t take but a minute when they kicked in til I literally fell sleep kneeling down at my job. I knelt down to fix something and I don’t remember nothing after that. When I came to I was like damn! I could get fired for that because you can seriously get hurt at my job. 

I’m working at the golf club tomorrow so I hope I make good lol and get lots of customers. As soon as I reach my first goal my blog will be generating income which is what I’ve been working towards so hard. Y’all won’t be paying or buying don’t worry. The money don’t come from the blog itself but from advertising. It can be very great if you work your ass off. Enough to pay all your bills every month and then some. But I gotta work hard at it to make it happen. I can’t wait! 

This post is….just because. I felt I needed to write it so I did. Even I needed to hear my own words. Most of the time when I write it just comes to me, all I need is a title and I’ll run with it. 

Yea I live a crazy life but it’s my crazy life. I run it in the directions I want. No longer afraid to do what is best for me. Even if I have to let things and people go. I’m important even if no one else thinks so. If things are making you unhappy-get rid of them and try something new or different. If people are making you unhappy-remove them period, people are far worse on destroying you than things will. If your important to them they will tell you or show you, if not you’ll just know. If your not a priority like you should be then they obviously don’t have much thought of you nor care. 

I just don’t want anyone to feel what I feel. I know I can’t stop it but if I can keep you and myself from going crazy while going through stuff then this is worth it! 

Love you people! 

Love, Lori 

P.S. Never let a person make you feel bad about yourself. If they do they obviously don’t give a rats ass about you, just themselves. Keep your head up and kick their ass out of your life! Be strong no matter what your striving for. 

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