Just….Breathe 

If your anything like me or in a similar situation to my life or whatever you deal with you know life-it’s crazy, it’s unkind, it’s out of control, it’s overwhelming, etc. Yes there are good moments but there are a lot of bad ones and those seem to outweigh everything else. 

Me…right now I have no control on what all is going on in my life. I have anxiety attacks every couple of days or so. I cry ALL the time. I seek for help, for a friend that can be here when I need them to be, not just at their convenience. I’m not talking about sex even though it’s a great thing lol. But when you have no one to hold you or hold your hand or talk you through stuff it gets really lonely. And solitude is a killer. 

With me right now, I normally don’t list all my problems but here goes…

  • Rent & other bills always a step behind
  • My truck is in dire need of repairs
  • I need new eye glasses, I can’t see shit
  • I need teeth pulled and probably fake stuff added(embarrassing)
  • I need a new home, mine is literally ready to be just a storage building or torn down, it’s junk. 
  • I absolutely HATE my job with a passion
  • I’m insecure (there I said it), I Need not want a boob job
  • I have not a cent left over to buy a want, not even enough for have too’s
  • And worse of all, I have strong feelings for a person and I have to basically get over it and take it to my grave. The heart wants what it wants

That’s not every little thing but major points. I know some have a lot worse than I do. I’m thankful it’s not worse than it is but it’s bad enough on me that it’s slowly killing me I do believe. 

Soooo….at least once or twice a day I try to remind myself to just fucking breathe Lori. It’s hard to remember to do it because I’m so stressed out all the time. 

Forget your problems for a few moments, just push em back, close your eyes, take a deep breath and chill. Slow down and look at nature. I don’t know why but nature causes me to go into a trance to where I almost feel alive again like I’m worthy of something. 

Forget about:

  1. Your job
  2. Your boss
  3. Your spouse 
  4. Family problems
  5. Friend problems 
  6. Being used, cheated on, disrespected, lied too, etc. 
  7. Bills and money
  8. Whatever is eating at you

Because it will kill you. Stress will kill you. I’m living it everyday of my life and it seems like there’s no hope in sight. I’m not the perfect role model to be trying to help any of you but when I have a moment away from the chaos I try to write and reach out. I need help in so many ways but can’t get it at all and I know some of y’all are in the same boat with me. 

Feeling loved, wanted, useful, and noticed definitely make things a little better. I used to feel all those but I don’t anymore, I don’t get it anymore. Sitting alone 99% of the time proves how much I ain’t any of the above. Yea I get likes and friend requests on facebook but the social media don’t hold me in the middle of the night or wipe away my tears. I’m not popular off social media, so don’t let that ever confuse you about anyone. Offline I’m lonely, sad, feeling unwanted and like second or third choice to anyone. That’s the shit that will get ya. So don’t automatically assume everyone has it better than you. 

In case you need to hear this, I know you do……I don’t know you personally or your problems BUT I love ya, your doing all you can do, you will make it, the right decisions will be made by you-don’t panic, you’re not alone in this, you are attractive, you’re worth it, you’re a blessing to some, life is not over, you’re appreciated, keep fighting! ❤️

I love ya people and have a great day today! Feel free to comment if ya need to say a few words, I’m listening and will respond the best I can. 

Love, Lori 💋

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2 thoughts on “Just….Breathe 

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