I’m sooooo glad that my off weekend is here! I work swing shift so I have to work every other one and working the weekend sucks.
Sorry I haven’t been posting much lately. Some weeks I have my ‘bad’ days everyday and I barely can get out of the bed. I absolutely want out of this depression nonsense so bad.
This past monday and tuesday I was off and I made myself get out and about. I went to parks and lakes both days. I took my oldest son with me on one of the days and we had a blast. We got lost bigger than shit and damn near ran out of gas. My gas light came on and there was no gas station in sight, basically rode probably 10-15 miles or better after gas light came on lol, it was all fun though! But anyway at the end of both days, as soon as I got home and sat down I went right back into that all sad shit. I can’t stand it anymore, I’m fighting with everything in me to get rid of it and not be put on stupid pills which will just make me worse.
I woke up without the alarm this morning…I so love that! Lol. And now sitting in the tub while writing this. I plan on making myself clean my house today and do things I need to do in and outside of it. I learned I can rent to own a push mower but damn I can’t take on another bill. I think it’s only around like $15-20 a week but I’m so strapped I don’t think I can. Everyday I come home and start to see my yard I say out loud please lord let some stranger have come and mowed hahaha. Oh well lol, it’s getting pretty tall and looks like hell. Don’t guess the grass matters when I can’t even get caught up on rent right? Maybe if I post an ad to get my yard mowed with a pic of a chick with big ass tits, maybe someone would show up then. They ain’t gonna with what little bit I got lol.
I may actually need to get out of the tub, I can hear thunder and it’s getting dark outside lol. Dammit I don’t wanna 😩.
I do wish I could get better off financially, and also find the interest and love for all the things I used to love to do. Cooking, baking, art, building stuff, gardening, and so on. I miss it all but can’t afford none of it and can’t ever get motivated for anything.
Hey now listen, y’all have read enough of my stuff to know that sex or anything to do with it is my favorite right? Y’all, here recently I don’t even take care of myself. I’m in shock haha. It’s like I’m still interested but I look at it like I do everything else, it’s that depression shit I’m telling ya. This stuff is for real and it’s ridiculously taking over me, well trying to, I’m too stubborn for it to win lol. My personal opinion from everything I’ve read is I’m able to point it out and ‘not’ deny it so I believe I’m ahead of the game so far. I will overcome this!!!!
Ok I’m gonna get off here and I hope I’m back on soon with some more writings. Hope everyone has a beautiful day! Thankyou to all who follow me and take the time to read and respond, y’all rock!
P.S. If it’s no trouble to anyone, could y’all please share this link..anywhere…I’m still in dire need of help. Thanks so much!