Good morning to all of you!
I hope that I and all of you have a great day today. And I’m hoping and praying that things turnaround for me for once, good changes. I want happiness, happiness, happiness! I woke up a little bit ago and immediately started thinking about all my issues. I have to stand up and take hold of my own situation or it’s never going to get any better. No one is going to do it for me and if they did I wouldn’t appreciate it as much as if I just do it myself, you know how it goes.
I don’t just have to but I want to do something great to where I can look back and say, ‘Yea let me tell you how I survived that life’, but no longer living it, just more stepping stones along my path to share and help others.
I’m tired of being told how I shouldn’t or should live. Or ‘Lori this is what you need to do’, but most are just talk and wouldn’t lift a finger to help. That’s fine, no one has to because it’s my life and I can take care of myself. Yea it’s pure hell for me, every area and aspect of my life right now well…sucks ass.
One day when I can finally get my life under control I’m going to write a book about my single life and men from my point of view. And it probably won’t be pretty either. I’m going to have to tell the truth and tell it like it is for readers to fully understand how I made it and all the hell I went through. And that anyone male or female can make it through their hell too.
I’m a little grouchy this morning lol. I’m not feeling too good for some reason. It feels like a slight fever but not sure. I did however have my fan on high pointed directly at me all night cause it was so hot when I went to bed. I don’t normally have it on me, just on so I can fall asleep to the noise. Hope it ain’t gonna make me sick.😩
I don’t know what I’m going to get into today but I have to do something towards getting myself out of my rut. Still I don’t know what that is lol. I want to be better off so bad I can’t hardly stand it. If I have to work seven days a week every week until I can get better off then that’s what I’m going to do. I have no way outs, no backups, no one to move in with, no money saved, no credit card saved for hard times, I have nothing but…myself. And I’m the one that has to do something about it. Kick life’s ass right back!
I know I write and it probably seems like it’s poor little Lori but I swear that’s not how I intend any posts to sound I promise. It’s an outlet to write it out here and people respond to me with words of wisdom, so in that sense it helps me. And there’s quite a few that say I help them by just simply writing anything, it’s uplifting for them. I’m glad it is I really am. That’s what made me start writing in the first place.
A little bit to explain the mess I’m going through……….I haven’t hung up my clothes in months and every time I try I walk off and go lay back down. No energy, no want to………..It’s like that with a lot of my days. I don’t know if anyone can relate but the simplest things become big tasks that I now choose not to handle. Everybody’s solution is get out of the house, party, date, etc…..No that’s not what I need, sorry. I do wish I had inspiring words to give but I’m searching for them for myself as well.