I’ve been thinking a lot lately and watching people very closely. I don’t have anything else to do you know other than work and I can still keep up with everyone and everything at work also.
Being single and alone has a lot of bad to it but also has some good as well. I’ve learned who my real friends are, and there’s not many of them that are real but the few I do have are awesome people. I have learned I have strengths I didn’t know existed. At the same time I’ve learned where my weaknesses are too. One of them is Men, only because I’ve tried to fill that emptiness that’s there but I’m learning I don’t have to have them. I don’t want nor need any distractions like that, it’s time for myself.
I’m not waiting around for someone to save me, I’m gonna do it myself.
I’m not waiting around for someone else to make me happy, I’m gonna do it myself.
“Just watch, all of you men. I’ll show you what a woman can do…I’ll go across the country, I’ll race to the moon…I’ll never look back.” -Edna Gardner Whyte
“One of the most courageous things to do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in and where you want to go.” -Sheila Murray Bethal
I do admit that at night it’s a little rough going to bed by myself but I’m slowly getting use to it. And going places…I get tired of going places by myself but here recently it’s getting easier on me. I’m starting to appreciate having the time alone. Honestly I’m getting to where I’m slowly becoming comfortable with it which may not be good for a future man lol. I’m joking lol.
As you’ve read I’ve been through hell. More than most. If you can take my life and add it all up into one big story, it’d be one hell of a book/storm. Not that I’m bragging about the bad stuff but it has molded me into who I am today and I ain’t so bad. I’m pretty damn strong considering and damn smart. I can’t handle talking to most people I meet because I’ve gained the ability to read bullshit a mile away. I study people…a lot lol and most are fake as hell.
As for my future I am in a place where I don’t have to just settle for anything. I’m single and free and the sky is wide open for me. I don’t have to continue working these lame ass jobs because I will soon be working from home, I won’t stop until I get there. And I don’t have to settle for some cheating ass fuckboy as a man for me either. I’ve had enough of men that can’t keep their dick in their pants from having to fuck anything that moves, fuck them.
I know there’s good men out there, honest and faithful men, I’ll just have to be a little more patient lol. But I refuse to actually look because looking only finds the fuckboys that are sitting there waiting for you to reply. And real men ain’t on social media hardly ever if any at all. Real men don’t go friending up a shit ton of women, sending them messages to hook up and fuck. Sorry but that’s the truth. I’ve watched so many women that I’m not friends with simply because there’s at least 30-40 men from my friends list that like all their pics and comment the same shit they comment on my pics. I find it rather immature and disgusting. Just speaking my view on it and it seems to be pretty true.
I want a man that I can trust…..I mean really trust! I don’t want to ever have to worry about him flipping his phone upside down, hiding pics and messages from other women in folders on his phone or exiting apps when I walk into the room. Fuck that! Never have to wonder where he is or ‘who’ he’s doing. Has the maturity to tell other women NO and to back off. And would be there for me no matter what. I don’t care if I’m crying over a damn stupid movie, be there for me. Because as would sure as fuck be there for him for anything and my faithfulness will make him sick.
Right now it’s just me. I have two grown sons and a grand baby on the way, which I’m excited about!!! My boys are the best men I’ve ever met. They have grown up into the men I tried/prayed so hard for them to be. They are true, they are faithful, they’d give you the shirt off their back, and they love God. I’m thankful that my two sons can show some of these pathetic men how to be a real man! Awesomeness!
One day I’m going to write a book about my life and I’m not leaving anything out, names but not anything else. It’s gonna be a big book haha. Once I get to the point where I’m working from home, I can travel and write my heart out.
And I am traveling alone. I think that it would be an awesome adventure for me. To truly enjoy my life and really see what I’m made of and find myself.
Everything that’s for me or waiting on me is at my fingertips waiting for me to grab. Y’all I’m ready. I’m tired of doing what I’m doing. Tired of living how I’m living. Tired of being lied to and so on and so on. I hope that very soon I will be writing and sharing stories about it all and making videos on my vlog on youtube for y’all to see and witness my adventures with me. Here’s a link to my vlog below, if you subscribe you can keep up with me.
I’m gonna be honest, I’m sitting here in an old rundown house that I’m renting, I only own a few household items and my truck, and with a few bucks in my pocket. But I’m still hopeful and I know in my heart and soul that I will make it, I will be above the norm. I’m stubborn and when I want something I will break my back to go after it. I’m staring out my bedroom window now in between writing breaks and I can visualize traveling and writing and being completely free. I hunger for it. I refuse to settle and kill myself for the ‘man’ and settle for a useless relationship. I’m better than that! I am different and that’s ok. Some people ‘just’ dream, I dream and want them to be reality and I’ll strive until the are. I’ve taught myself many things in my life just because I wanted to know if I could do it and I’ve succeeded at most. Most don’t Really know me because they don’t ask or hang around long enough to find out. But those that had me or was my friends realize it when it’s too late. Sorry, I don’t lose any sleep at night, I have to live for me and think about myself for a change.
Just wanted to share what’s been on my heart. I do hope y’all have a great day and wonderful weekend!
P.S. If you have a story that you’d like to share with us, please do so in the comments. Relationship, something you mastered, a dream you got to live out, anything. I would love to read/hear about it. ❤️. If your more comfortable in private, here’s my email: firstname.lastname@example.org