Bold Moves

Sometimes in life you just have to jump…just jump. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks at all. It’s all about you! And in my life it’s all about me, I have to do what is best for me. I’m scared to death of changes but I believe I will be such a happier person if I take that next step in my life.

My gut feelings are all terrified but it’s not the bad kind of feelings I normally get, it’s my nerves & me afraid of changes. I can’t keep going on like I have been, it’s going to kill me if I do.

I want to be happy & only I can make myself truly happy. I want to make my dreams come true but only I can do that. I want to be living better off than I do but only I can change that. You see, it’s only yourself that can do anything to change your life, no one else is responsible nor do they feel in your heart what you feel.

I’ve lived unhappy for far too long for everyone else, it’s my time. I’ve put my own self aside for far to many years for everyone else to be happy. Time for my happiness. Time for me to truly live life to the fullest. Time to learn to open my heart to love & be loved.

Sometimes you just gotta take that leap & jump!

Lori

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You don’t understand

Fighting depression unmedicated & alone

Good morning to all of you. I do hope everyone has a wonderful thanksgiving & a great weekend.

I only have to work one day this week at that ugh job so I’m happy about that. I honestly can’t pick another job because they’re all similar to the one I have & that sucks. I’m doing other things & of course blogging & I’m looking into another online business. Not sure about it but I’m doing some research on it before I jump in, can’t just trust anyone on the web ya know.

But this post is definitely about my depression. I deal with it everyday all day long. No one truly knows what all is going on & what all triggers it & so forth.

I do not see a doctor, I do not take any pills or do any drugs. I have very few people to somewhat speak about it to, but even at that I can’t completely open up.

I can simply be watching a movie & be calm & then all of a sudden have a panic attack out of nowhere. It can last a few minutes or longer. There are moments I have such fear over me that I can’t hardly deal with it. It feels like I’m in a horror movie & scared shitless but there ain’t nothing there.

I sometimes have a few good days in a row & I feel like I’m on top of the world & feel strong as hell! But that can change at the blink of an eye. There has been days where all I can do is cry. Days I can’t even get out of bed which has caused me to be put on final at work but those so called people I work with think I’m lazy…shows what they know or even try to understand. Bitches.

Some days I don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t want the radio on or tv. I just sit in silence all day & night trying to make sense of a nothing that I feel. I can’t explain the nothing. None of this junk makes sense to me but I keep fighting it. It started the day I watched & heard my momma take her last breath, that was in 2012. It ripped me into a million pieces & I’ve yet to find those pieces & put me back together.

I’ve been through some rough shit the past couple of years & of course it still continues. A divorce, an evil boyfriend who damn near starved me to death, an attack by females at work that tried to get me fired & make me a laughing stock at the plant, financial trouble, etc. That’s only the tip though. I’m not going to list the things that are really killing me, ain’t no reason to.

Last night I laid in bed staring at the ceiling just crying so hard. Everything on me & arguing with others makes for a rough night. But who’s there for me? I mean really? I’ll tell ya…me. I fall apart & then have to pick my own self up & have to comfort myself & do the little pep talk to peel me up off of the floor. It sucks. No one there to hold me, to comfort me, nothing. And that makes me cry & hurt even more.

I’ve never in my life felt so alone as I have lately. It’s a scary feeling. I am solely responsible for me in every way from groceries to working on my truck & everything in between. Have you ever tried to make a pack of hotdogs, buns & chips last a week for your supper every night? I have many times. Not saying that for anyone to feel sorry for me but for those that complain about their good life & have never been in a situation to where they could even sympathize with me or others on stuff like that, that go through hell should really just shut the hell up, that’s how I see it. If you can’t help, shut your mouth & walk away because that is helping us to listen to someone else’s negativity.

I’m not saying at all that my problems are worse than anyone else’s but I am saying those that have ‘it made’ & choose to fuck it up because they ain’t happy & complain like no one has it worse than them….fuck you & your big hearty meals every night before bed & being warm. Bless your heart you couldn’t get your hair or nails done right & I’m sitting over thinking how am I’m gonna eat this week. Right?

Not only do I deal with things & people, I have to deal with the mental abuse as well. Yes I do get pissed off at people that act like my problems & life could be ‘just’ fixed. Or say that I don’t really have problems, it’s just how I’m looking at it, sorry they’re very real to me.

Everyone does have their own problems & issues but anyone that acts like theirs is always worse is an asshole. I used to try & listen to anyone that needed to talk but not anymore, look where it got me at work & such. It’s funny how I listen to them but they don’t want to listen to me & if they do they laugh or make fun saying that ain’t nothing. Really???? I now keep to myself for the most part.

But all in reality & seriousness I am depressed, I don’t know when it will end. I refuse to be a drugged up person or sleep with a bunch of random men all the time to feel needed or wanted. Fuck that. I’ll just continue to be alone & do what I’m doing.

I am stronger in a sense I believe because I can attack back stronger than I used to be able to do when I get all down & out. But if you need to talk just comment & we will talk it out, I’m not a doctor but I listen well.

Have a great day!

Lori

Good Afternoon

I don’t know how good it is for y’all but I hope it’s alright. I swear the past couple of days I feel like I’m just existing or something.

I guess when you realize where you stand in other people’s lives you kinda take a step back & think wow, damn…really? It’s funny how the need of you changes according to what their needs of you are. I don’t even give a damn about any that chooses to walk away from me. I cared for them & got nothing but shit on. Yea I guess shit is getting to me but I’m human, it’s gonna happen.

I can’t remember the last time someone made me a priority…..makes you feel like you ain’t good enough for no one. BUT….I do know my worth, they can walk away, I’m not losing them, their ass is losing me.

When one thing bothers you it seems like everything comes out that has ever bothered you & you feel it all at once….again. Depression sucks ass.

I actually had been doing really good. That week I was laid off from work was very valuable to me. I realized what I want & don’t want. I was more in tune with myself as well. I spent most of the week by myself & I loved it. I loved the fact that that’s exactly what I want. To work from home & have no need to slave at some horrible job & make someone else richer. No alarm clock, no rushing, no dreading the day, no dealing with bitches & assholes, & no boss.

The step to have that life everyday is scary as hell. I want someone to tell me what I should do but I have to decide & do it for myself. It sucks not having someone to help me or even notice me. But oh well. I know I’ll still make it even if I’m completely alone.

I no longer wish to speak of details about my life, just ’round about’ conversations is about all I say anymore. I used to stay shut down all the time, wouldn’t talk about myself. Then I went through a stage of saying a lot because of this blog until I realized that the people in my life really wasn’t my people at all. Just back stabbers & people who used me & look at me like I’m some joke. I don’t know who or how to trust anymore. Now I just write down in a journal about my day, my problems, fun stuff I did or whatever. Sharing it doesn’t excite me because no one ‘wants’ to hear it anyway. Any desires I have will probably just end up being part of a sexual story or other from now on.

I know it’s all sad & shit again, sorry. I have to vent somewhere or I’ll explode. I’m still not really getting the full venting relief on here but a little bit helps. Going from having people around you & being needed all the time to nothing does something to a person & then everyone new you meet is the same as the people you let go of. Crazy. Is anybody real anymore?

It’s crazy how every 6 months to a year you think well I grew up a little more, then realize you grew up again just like that all of a sudden. Weird. I think more maturity comes in when you get sick of all the bullshit.

It looks like no one is ever going to really know me, people show me often why I can’t trust & shouldn’t let them into my true self. Again, Oh Well….

Okay so I’m over complaining for now, gonna work on Mrs. Badass part 3 today, this one may end up turning into a book someday. I may go ahead & start connecting the stories together for that. I’m trying to put my focus on writing & working online to keep from going crazy. Lol

Have a great day everyone & try to beat the blues with me, we can do this.

Lori

Naughty Girl…(very dirty)

…..At the office….


Trace was working hard on a project. Sitting on his couch in his office for a little bit of comfort instead of his chair. He calls for his secretary to come and assist him. Dee, his secretary comes in the office and pulls up a chair in front of him. Dee always dressed sexy..maybe a little too sexy. None of the office guys didn’t mind at all, hell some of the women didn’t either. Dee sat down in the chair and crossed her long sexy legs. Trace noticed. They were discussing and sharing paperwork back and forth.

Trace was noticing Dee was just really sexy today. The way she moved and spoke, and dressed. Dee dropped a piece of paper in the floor and uncrossed her sexy legs to pick it up. Right then Trace noticed the see-through panties. He thought to himself how fucking sexy! Such a gorgeous woman. His concentration was gone from the work and all on her. Dee asked him if wanted to stop and continue the next day, he said no we can finish up today.

Trace half way leaned back into the couch staring at her legs and letting his eyes skim over her entire body. His eyes landed staring at her thighs trying so hard to see her pussy again. All he could imagine was his mouth on her pussy with her so wet and moaning as he sucked on her pussy. Pussy juice all over his face…..And Dee interrupts him, Trace are you listening? He snaps out of it and says yes repeat that please.

Trace suggested Dee remove her heels and that the couch was much more comfortable. She agreed. As she sat down on one leg, legs slightly spread facing him. Trace’s eyes were clearly looking at what she thought when she caught him staring. With Trace still staring, she smiled and thought she’d give him something to stare it. She spread her legs a little more which caused her skirt to slide up her legs. Then she just fell back on the couch and said I’m just so exhausted from all this paperwork. When she laid back she opened her legs a little more which was exposing her pussy through her see-through panties. Trace was damn near drooling. He looked up at her and she was staring back smiling at him. He realized she caught him and they laughed for a moment.


Trace couldn’t even focus. Dee continued to lay there spreading her legs a little more. Trace was completely mesmerized by her. She asked him if he liked what he sees. He placed his hand on her knee and said yes, you are so sexy. Dee slowly ran her hand down her body to her panties and pulled her panties to one side and asked him if he liked the way her pussy looked as she spread her pussy lips apart. Trace’s cock was immediately hard as a rock.

Trace pulled her bent leg straight and guided it behind him, opening her beautiful wings that cover her pretty pussy up. Dee started rubbing on her pussy and Trace started rubbing her thighs and joined her rubbing on her pussy. Trace bent over to softly kiss her pussy several times. He slid down on the couch to where he could bury his face in her. He kissed her pussy all over and the inside of her thighs. Trace then slid his tongue in between her pussy lips and swirled his tongue around her clit. Dee was slightly moving her hips and lightly moaning. He ran his tongue up and down her pussy and sucked light then hard on her clit. Then put his tongue inside of her pussy as far as he could get it in there. Enjoying the way she tasted and felt. He continued licking and sucking on her pussy for awhile, pushing her legs up and kissing and licking her ass as well. Rimming her ass. Dee was soaking wet now and so turned on. She had never been licked so good and never on her ass. She loved it.

Trace used two fingers and started finger fucking her while sucking on her clit really hard. Dee grabbed his hair and started rubbing her pussy all over his face slow then fast until she cummed all over his face.

Trace pulled her panties and skirt off while she removed her shirt and bra. He couldn’t believe how gorgeous she was and that how he was lucky to be intimate with her. He kissed her body all over. Sucking on her nipples and nibbling them. Kissing on her neck, her ears, and then kissed her with a sexy passionate very wet kiss.


Trace raised up to remove his shirt and then unbutton his pants as he unzipped his pants, Dee sat up and pulled his pants down. Pulled his boxers down and lightly licked on his dick all over. Licked his balls and sucked one at time into her mouth. Then started sucking on his dick, deep throating him while he had his hands on her head and slightly fucking her mouth. Trace barely could stay on his knees in front of her it felt so good. He finished taking his pants off and slowly climbed on top of her. While kissing her, Trace rubbed his dick up and down on her wet juicy pussy.

He guided his dick inside of her pussy. Slowly entering until he was fully inside her. Slow deep thrusts to start then he thrusted her faster and faster and deeper and harder. Dee was squeezing and clawing his back the harder he thrusted her pussy.

Trace flipped her over onto her knees with ass in the air, he cuffed her pussy with his mouth, sucking up her cum. Then slid his dick back into her pussy pounding her hard again until she was screaming. He slowed down and had both her ass cheeks in his hands and slipped a thumb into her ass while fucking her. He moved his thumb a little slower than he was going. She seemed to love it.


They repositioned and she was straddling him on the couch. She sat down on his dick and rolled her hips while moving up and down. His hands all over her. Dee grabbed the back of the couch behind his head and started sliding on him fast until she cummed so hard. Trace threw his head back and was pulling on her hips helping her move even faster. Dee, cummed yet again. Then she slid her pussy off of his dick and guided his dick into her ass. Trace was feeling so good he could barely speak. Dee moved up and down until he was deep inside her ass then she bounced up and down pretty fast on him. They both were moaning and Trace was moving his hips and thrusting his dick in her hard while she was bouncing up and down. They reached an awesome climax together leaving them both shaking and sweating and just completely relaxed.

They kissed and agreed that they would definitely be seeing each other again for sure. They got dressed and decided to call it a day. As they left his office there were still a couple of people still working in the office who heard it all. They just looked at Trace and Dee with big smiles on their face. They calmly and maturely walked out of the office into the elevator. They kissed all the way down to the parking garage floor. And parted to go to there vehicles. Both were still smiling and feeling great about what had just happened between them. Such passion and ecstasy with extreme pleasure.

The End

Lori 💋

Sex Talk Round 4

Welcome to you new people, to my blog. If you search through my posts you will find parts 1-3 of sex talk & also other short sex stories, as well as my journal posts. I do hope you enjoy reading them. My blog is for 18+ only. Please feel free to comment, like, share, & follow me through the site. If you do, you will be notified every time I post by an email. Thank You.

Ok so today I’m hung up on toys that pleasure the clit. They are awesome! I currently have one that has such an excess speed that I can’t hardly stand it turned up for too long lol. It is my favorite clit toy for sure. I wish I could find a toy that actually resembles a tongue licking on you. The ones that’s out there really ain’t worth the buy & the reviews on them are terrible. I think someone somewhere could come up with a better tongue toy. One that even men could use as well, you know to lick on the sack or maybe the ass too. I think it could be exciting for both sexes. Maybe I should invent it myself lol. Hmmm.

I’m sure a lot of women can agree that clit stimulation is very important in any sexual encounter. To me if it isn’t aroused & swollen it takes a little longer for me to get turned on otherwise.

When I’m alone which is pretty much all the the time…. Anyway I like to use a decent amount of coconut oil & use my fingers to rub all over the outside of my girl. Just light slow rubbing up, down, & all over the outside, leaving the entrance untouched for later. To me it’s an awesome sensation if I’m alone. I would like to share those moments with someone….maybe someday I guess. There’s a few things I do alone that is never shared with anyone, & I’m sure some of you have some as well.

What do you women like best when receiving oral? Slow & light or hard & fast? Or a mixture? Me..I like the variety. I also really love a man to cupple my girl with his mouth & suck but not too hard & moving to only sucking on the clit. That really feels good.

Sometimes men or women don’t quite know what you like without telling or showing them. If you’re comfortable enough you should allow them to know what really turns you on with clit stimulation. It will make your sexual experience together much more fulfulling.

I don’t have a whole lot to write on this one so…..Until next time….Muah!

Remember I’m no sex doctor lol, just a regular gal with a lot to say hehe.

Lori

Yes.You.Are.Good.Enough

Good morning people! I’m freezing this morning here in georgia, my house is so cold brrr lol. I heard it was snowing up north somewhere, I don’t think I’m quite ready for all that!

It’s getting closer to time for my grandson to get here! So excited!!! I can’t help but think of how much I’m going to spoil him hehe!

So I wanted to write a little bit about us feeling like we’re not good enough. I have to get out my paper where I write things down to read to remind myself when people hurt my feelings or treat me like shit. If I don’t do that, it will slam me in a depressive mood for days. I won’t stand for that anymore. People are rude, inconsiderate, selfish assholes. You must remember that. It is not you, it’s a reflection of the ass that they are by how they treat you.

I don’t have low self esteem but people can still hurt my feelings, it happens. I’m going to tell you something I have not told anyone. I spent weeks & I mean weeks if not longer feeling like I should die. I lost more weight, got more wrinkles, got lazy in all areas, & couldn’t of gave two fucks about nothing. Felt like I could never please another if I had to get naked, I felt disgusting. And all that was because I was made to feel like I wasn’t good enough, I allowed it to get to me. Then one day I just decided…Fuck This! I’m a fucking savage & those that can’t respect that can kiss my ass! I haven’t felt like it sense. I do have moments that get to me but I shake it off quickly.

You got to understand that anyone who is willing to allow you to feel bad about yourself doesn’t deserve a spot in your life! Get rid of them! I don’t care how long you’ve known them or whatever. No one deserves to fall asleep at night feeling like you don’t matter or are ugly or worthless. They can change or they can leave.

I don’t care if you are male or female… You are important, You are beautiful, You matter! Find people that will appreciate you not disrespect you.

I know from plenty of experience dealing with people that use to make me feel like that. It sucks. If it’s a friend or family member you wonder to yourself if you just suck as a person in general…you don’t, they do. If it’s a significant other, it’s not you, your body, or yourself. Don’t look at your body & get disgusted like I have, I’m beautiful & so are you. More than likely it’s just that they came across someone who is easy to get in bed with. It ain’t you. They suck! Most people can get a little bit of attention from the other sex & they forget all about you, show them they can’t come back. Only then will they realize what they had.

If someone doesn’t want to lose you, they will do everything in order to keep you. If they don’t, let them go. You are the most important, your family & such need you, you gotta take care of yourself & remove the negative.

You are valuable.

You are wanted.

You are beauitful.

You are a fucking king/queen!

Don’t allow anyone or anything to make you feel any different.

I’m getting older so I get paranoid about my body sometimes but I’ve yet to hear anything negative but a few times. Those few times damn near killed me because not only do I deal with depression but dealing with that made it worse. That’s ok though….What one or two are negative about, someone else truly enjoys.

I’m only writing about things I deal with or have dealt with in hopes to help someone else.

I had to learn from a hard long road that I must fall in love with me, myself first. When you do you will look at everyone & everything different. You will see who or what needs to be removed from your life. Take the first scary step…it’s worth it!

Love ya, Lori

P.S. I know it says good morning but it took me a little while to get back on here to finish up writing, it’s now afternoon lol.

Changes & New Directions

Good morning. Yay I’m writing again, two days in a row! Don’t know about tomorrow lol. Hope all is well with everyone & y’all have a great day today.

Once again I have added a little more to the changing my life status. The more I learn about those around me, the less I want anything to do with anybody. By no means am I saying I’m perfect…I just mean the way they are towards me & treat me in general, not them as the person they are. People are really mean ya know, down right dirty & cruel. I’m so disgusted by some it ain’t even funny. I’d rather be alone than be a friend or such just when it’s convenient for them or when they need something.

Me..make new friends..ain’t happening. I’m tired & getting too old for childish games from adults who refuse to stop acting like they’re teenagers.

Like I’ve wrote before, I’m changing areas in my life & doing different things to better myself. Some things some people know about but there’s some no one knows about, can’t tell everyone everything about you.

Yes there is a new me coming about. I don’t view anything or anyone the same anymore. Pain has impacted my life in such a way that I can’t trust no one but me. I’m not perfect, I’m not no queen, but I guarantee you & there’s proof from others….you don’t want me to walk out of your life. But I will walk out of yours when I feel disrespected or I’m to my limit of being fucked over.

I’m sick of people saying I am insecure & a few say I don’t have any confidence. Hahaha. I know who I am & I damn well know what I’m capable of. I know exactly what I can offer. If you’re not seeing it then that’s your fault because you’ve done something to cause me to hold back from giving & showing you my all. I’m not the typical female who is afraid to get dirty or can’t cook or don’t know her way around a toolbox or can’t have sex right or can’t drive. And as part of the insecure deal…..Jealousy does not make me insecure, it means I care. Eventually I will stop caring though no matter the situation, friends or family.

Yea the meme above is definitely one of my new changes in my life. I ain’t begging or pleading for anyone to spend time with me anymore. If they don’t want to be around me, fine, then don’t! If I ain’t worth someones time then they don’t need to be in my life anyway.

People that want to be around you won’t be able to stay away from you, remember that!

I love the saying above because it reflects back to the weak ass friends I used to have & men.

Someday someone will come along who will appreciate me for who I am whether it’s a friend or a man, & will force their way in my life because I ain’t letting no one in now lol, until then I’ll just keep to myself for my own hearts sake.

Also I can’t say what all I’m changing due to the fact that for one I’m not ready to say some if it & also I have haters, so you know how that goes. They’ll watch me shine from a distance because they’re no longer allowed to be a part of my life.

I’m getting better everyday regardless of the bad days.

Kicking Depression’s Ass!!!

Lori